2010 is overrrr. Finally! Not that I dont love spending time with my son but for the past year I was a stay at home mom, now I'm excited to start living and loving life. Being a stay at home mom is not an easy thing contrary to popular belief. A lot of the time your alone and frustrated, i have dealt with postpardum depression, but never told anyone until now.Why am I deciding to speak about it now? Well I honestly feel like no one understands how I feel, not my mother- not my friend who has no children.So if this can help someone or help me to vent and try to let go of all these bottled up feelings, then I'll write. Its been a definite struggle for in my first year of motherhood. From learning how to read my child, to taking care of him when he got sick, to having to hustle and sell my belongings to buy diapers. His father has been no help, never bought a single diaper. But I'm proud of myself, so far my son is an extremely beautiful, sweet, intelligent child. I've done things that I never thought I had the courage to do.My First Resolution for 2011 is to make a career for myself and Jacob. I'm ready to be the person I never thought I could be. A woman who is independent and able to stand on her own two feet. I want to let go of all the anger I hold inside, I dont know half the time why I'm so angry. Sometimes at my sons father,for not being there, but mostly at myself, for what.. I still dont understand. Release me from my guilt and fear and be able to fly, to go for my most "unattainable" of dreams. I have a fresh start, its what I have been waiting for. THIS IS MY YEAR! AND THIS IS YOUR YEAR TOO! DO EVERTHING YOU'VE EVER DREAMED OF AND DONT GIVE UP! WE CAN DO ANYTHING! WE ARE BEAUTIFUL,INTELLIGENT,COURAGEOUS, AND STRONG. DONT LET ANYONE TELL YOU "YOU CAN'T". Because when they say that its because they cant and they're scared.
THIS YEAR I WILL LEARN TO:
3.FORGIVE THOSE WHO DO ME WRONG
4.LET GO OF THE PAST
5.MAKE NEW FRIENDS
6.GO TO SCHOOL
8.GO SOMEWHERE IVE NEVER BEEN/BE SPONTANEOUS!
9.DRESS BETTER! LOL:)
10.DO WHAT YOU LOVE
11.TRY NEW THINGS, HOBBIES, FOODS, ETC.
12.GO OUT MORE/NOT BE A TOTAL HERMIT
13.GO TO A DRIVE IN THEATER
15.BE AS CREATIVE AS POSSIBLE!!!
16. VOLUNTEER AT AN ANIMAL SHELTER:)
17. GET MY FIRST PAYING GIG
I HOPE YOU FIND THIS HELPFUL IN SOME WAY. TAKE CARE- EVELYN